Bancuri

Într-o dimineaţă, stăpânitorul unei cetăţi fu trezit de nişte strigăte care se auzeau din piaţă: „Hai la mere! Mere dulci cum n-aţi mai gustat!”. Ridicându-se indispus din pat şi privind pe fereastră, văzu un târgoveţ ce vindea, într-adevăr, mere, înconjurat de o mulţime de muşterii. „Trebuie să fie tare bune merele alea”, îşi spuse mai-marele cetăţii şi, făcându-i-se poftă, îl chemă pe primul său sfetnic şi îi porunci: „Ia cinci galbeni şi mergi în piaţă să cumperi mere de la târgoveţul acela”. Primul sfetnic îl chemă pe paharnic şi îi spuse: „Uite patru galbeni, du-te şi cumpără mere”. Paharnicul se adresă, la rândul său, stolnicului: „Poftim trei galbeni, de care să cumperi mere de la târgoveţul acela”. Stolnicul îl chemă pe primul străjer îi dădu doi galbeni şi îl trimise în piaţă. Acesta dădu un galben unui străjer din subordine, iar acela se duse la târgoveţ şi îi luă la rost: „Hei, ce tot strigi aşa? Ai tulburat somnul mai-marelui cetăţii, iar drept pedeapsă mi-a poruncit să-ţi confisc căruţa asta cu mere”.
Zis şi făcut. Întors la şeful său, străjerul se lăudă: „Am făcut un târg nemaipomenit. Cu un galben am cumpărat o jumătate din căruţa cu mere a tărgoveţului”. Primul străjer merse la stolnic: „M-am târguit şi, cu cei doi galbeni pe care mi i-ai dat am reuşit să cumpăr un sac cu mere!”. Stolnicul - repede la paharnic: „Cu trei galbeni am luat o tolbă întreagă cu mere”. Paharnicul dosi jumătate din cantitate şi apoi merse la primul sfetnic: „Iată, cei patru galbeni
mi-au ajuns doar pentru o jumătate de tolbă cu mere”. Iar primul sfetnic se înfăţişă dinaintea stăpînitorului cetăţii şi glăsui: „Măria ta, iată, am îndeplinit porunca. Numai că de acei cinci galbeni n-am reuşit să târguiesc decât cinci mere”.
Mai-marele cetăţii muşcă dintr-un măr şi cugetă: „Hmmm… Cinci mere pentru cinci galbeni… scump, foarte scump! Şi, cu toate astea, târgoveţul acela avea o mulţime de cumpărători. Înseamnă că lumea o duce bine, are bani. Ia să măresc eu birurile!”

50 Ways To Annoy A Metalhead


1.Tell them every metal band worships the devil.
2. Ask if all black metal bands are trying to copy KISS or just most of them.
3. Hide their joint under their library card.
4. Ask if they know of any other cool bands like Slipknot.
5. If they're listening to metal, tell them it sounds like some mainstream band. Doesn't matter who.
6. Say it's all a rip off of Iron Butterfly anyway.
7. Ask if they've given their souls to Jesus yet.
8. Vaguely imply that you're gay and would like their company for the evening.
9. Record over their Cannibal Corpse albums with other Cannibal Corpse albums and see if they ever notice the difference.
10. Refuse to accept their fake I.D.
11. Ask how much Dio got paid for his role as Stuart Little.
12. Use the phrase "cookie monster vocals" and act like it's the funniest, most original thing you've ever come up with.
13. If they're listening to metal, tell them "These guys don't have talent. Now (insert any mainstream band here), those guys have talent!"
14. Say "What is vinyl?"
15. Point out how homosexual Manowar is. If they agree, tell them the only thing more homosexual is Black Sabbath with Dio.
16. Tell them it all sounds the same.
17. Admit that Cliff Burton was a dirty hippy who had already peaked musically.
18. If they say they love 80s metal, ask them what ever happened to Poison.
19. Tell them you like underground music too, like (insert the newest overhyped fashionable loud-ish band from the radio)
20. Point out that Tarja from Nightwish can't sing.
21. Insist that Emperor videos would be better if they used a dance troupe.
22. Ask if Mayhem is Marilyn Manson's band.
23. Divert their CD shipments to the local Jewish community center.
24. Write "God Loves You" on their Venom backpatch.
25. Point out that just about every genre of music has an underground with bands who have integrity, so metal really isn't that unique.
26. Post under their nickname on a power metal board and say Ray Alder nutss all over John Arch.
27. Take out the Iron Maiden disc and put in 50 Cent.
28. Give them a spiky pop-punk haircut while they sleep.
29. Pronounce "Celtic Frost" correctly.
30. If they're over 25, say that people can still rock even if they have an unplanned child or two and drive a grocery getter. Then point and laugh.
31. Tell them you're not hiring and to try the other Cinnabon down the street.
32. Sit quietly and applaud politely at a metal show.
33. Make them be sober for five whole seconds.
34. Ask if Randy Rhoads was on the same flight as John Denver.
35. Tell them Korn brought metal back to life in the 90s.
36. Turn the bass way up on their stereo.
37. Laugh at Slayer for stealing their name from the Buffy show.
38. Call Doro fat.
39. Call them on their horrible grammar and/or spelling.
40. Remind them that metal is partially derived from the blues. Then accuse them of being w**ggers.
41. Use the phrase "balls in a vice" at least three times when talking about classic metal and/or power metal vocalists.
42. If it's a guy with long hair, address him as if he were female. Don't correct yourself about it.
43. Be impressed with how much RoadRunner Records has improved over the past ten years.
44. Say you love Metallica's debut, The Black Album.
45. Notice that Lemmy hasn't moved his left hand in 30 years of playing bass.
46. Refer to metal as "that kill-your-father rape-your-mother stuff."
47. Ask them if their favorite band is so good, how come nobody has ever heard of them.
48. Pine for the good old days when Pour Some Sugar On Me was a big hit.
49. Tell them you used to be a metalhead, but grew out of it when you started listening to more intellectual stuff like (insert any band at all here)
50. Post a list of "Ways To Annoy Metal Fans" knowing full well that so many of them internalize everything and can't take a joke.

Lady Gaga vs. Meshuggah

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfOddwK7x3E

pwnage la patrat

^ de asta urasc eu cainii

ce bestie

aw com'on

eu ii urasc in zilele astea fiindca am probleme la alergat. dar nu pe toti,cu cei mari n-am treaba. am trecut si pe langa dogi, si pe langa bulli: ori au 29 de ani si nu mai vor nimic, ori sunt dresati zen. nu, aia mici, pufosi si energici, dupa care ofteaza toate pitipoancele, aia-s buba. cum ma vad, ca-s in fata, c-am trecut de ei (!), ca-s pe partea cealalta a strazii: ham ham ham si ham ham ham si miau miau si ce sa mai zic...

/rant

mi s-a terminat orice simpatie pentru patrupedele canine prin anii 90 cand au fost mai multe cazuri in care diversi dogi si rotweilleri au omorat copii mici sfasiindu-i bestial, au fost cateva cazuri naspa de tot in germania, dar si in ardeal.

Jean-Michel Jarre al altei specii...

Snorah Jones

eu unul m-am tavalit de ras

Cristi a scris:

eu unul m-am tavalit de ras

placinta cu visine?

^ nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, pizza pentagram-ica, pt Slayer-isti sau black metalishti.

Cristi a scris:

^ nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, pizza pentagram-ica, pt Slayer-isti sau black metalishti.

parca e de post, nimic din bunatati.

Î: Ce asculta hipsterii de Halloween?
R: Vampire Weekend.

se pare ca e de pe BestMusic

VdGG goes avantgarde

Simt un deja-vu, dar nu-mi pot aduce aminte daca stiam de videoclip.